Rosemarie's Demented Thoughts

HI!!![hi frend...have a super awesome day!!!]
dono wut to say but yeah...
dear friend....
hi how r u? hope ur gr8...we dont talk much but its kool...we keep some type of communication...hope u have a great summer...n enjoy it all...n i know u will...ur the type of person who would be so positive...negativity basically does not exist...ok bye!

fave quote right now:
"a thousand mile journey begins with the first step"

"a child called it" made me cry n made me angry...not good.
ppl need love...for a person to deny someone that much respect...is disgusting...it was hard to turn the page and read on about a child's horrible life...made me feel the same pain he did...i sorta connected...but i have never felt that much pain that he had to suffer.
his will to survive is incredible...i doubt i could last that long...
he was abused physically n emotionally...till there was no more of him left...its almost how i felt like wen i watched "artificial intelligence" empty...

hope all u guys r havin fun n bein safe...

[[Feel the fuckin wrath of my thorns!!!]]

wen everything seems to fall apart
u find that the strength that u've been lookin for
was within u the whole entire time
i chose to be happy
n now i am
i may have my moments..but overall
there is no need to be depressed
who wins in being sad all the time
wut wud i be proving?
if i stayed sad, i'd prove that i had officially
quit living my life and that its no longer worth living
which is far from true
im surrounded by beautiful ppl who make me happy and care for me...
and for that i am incredibly thankful.
they love me as much as i love them
and isn't that all i ever wanted?
to be loved?
For the people who are the biggest jerks that i have ever encountered....
F you right back!
i dont need you in my life, u bring ppl down and ur breath is wasted b/c u take joy in hurting others
who in their right mind would love u fucker?
haha if someone does...then it does prove that "love is blind"
im through with being sad over wut stupid lame ass ppl say...
u swear as if ppl cant see right through you
ur just an insecure dumbass who has no way of gettin his joy except for kicking ppl further into the ground...
honestly that hurt, and i was gon let that kill me inside
it was to the point where i felt worthless and hopeless
it made me question who i am and made me hate myself.

well dumbass thank you!
cuz im stronger!

thank you for the gift!

THANKS:
ate ali for all ur advice..mwah much mahalz!
teresa for bein U..smile... TEAMWORK!
jane the inspiration to keep goin
ate jess...for...
joseph...u rock and u know why

ITO AY AKING KAKAYANIN...
kayang kaya ko!

ok so by now u know...vinnie and i ...have called it quits..super sadness on my part. i dint expect it or maybe i dint wanna believe. but it happens i guess...i still held that hope that it would all work out. but obviously he dint. and i understand that...it feels like everythings fallin apart and its all my fault...the reasons i dont wanna say..but thats how i feel this pain and sadness..that im goin thru rite now..i rightfully deserve..n so wen he asked me to give him some evidence that it wud work out...i couldnt say nething..wut else is there to say?...he dint see a future between us...but i still believed n now im letting go...its stupid..cuz i knew this would happen but i let my heart lead me.
if u noticed...i was ecstatically happy everytime his name was mentioned or wenever i thought of him..but all good things must come to an end...though unhappy i hope it will be ok...i feel like my heart is bein torn to pieces...n my faith in something as beautiful as love..has gone. i dint get enuf time to tell him that I LOVE HIM...but each time i wanted to ...we knew it wasnt time..yet...i loved him tho...even tho it is too late and saying it now is useless..but yeah....

with frends..it doesnt help to be pushed down when u're already down...
"In all the time I've known u u've never dedicated ur entire self to something or someone, u always do things half-ass...uve never put ur WHOLE HEART into it"...

ang sakit...but right now i believe it...i hate it ...i hate it all!

now that keeps playin in my head..n perhaps i'll never let go of it..b/c that means that all the times that i've worked my ass off was for nothing..b/c obviously i NEVER tried hard enuf...

in the end....i dont know wut to say or what to believe in...
i just know that this is the worst i've felt..and i cant seem to find a positive thought to hang onto...

so much has happened...
im not upset at anyone
just at me
i guess this was the LOW i was trying to prepare myself for...

YAY ROSE WENT TO THE GYM!!! haha it was funn goin with jane, jess, and jermiah...damn the 3 Js n im the random R hahaah..you know!

I LOVE CATHY..jess' cuzin she's soo frekain easy to talk to i swear...

teresa was super cute and esp. with her cute freakin smile hahaa u know!

i love ate jess...and jane...they rock..and ali she's a the sweetheart.

but the one i keep thinkin about is dorrk numero uno: vinnie
i feel awkward lettin all this out public..i mean...these things that i keep pretty much to myself...or to my frends but its weird that it can be read by anyone....bleh...i just hope that he and i will be able to enjoy our time together...as so many other times we havent...there's just this thing we have...a connection...we dont have all that much in common..but we still click and thats the cool part. for all those times...he's been somewhere in the bak of my head and i pushed it away cuz i knew or felt that it wouldnt work out..but now somehow those probs have gone and know i can freely allow myself to love as i wish to. not that im sayin that i love him just yet..but then that doesnt mean that i dont...all i know is that ever since the time my parents finally let go...i've been happier...a burden on the heart has been lifted...he was the major WHAT IF..n it pained me to see everyone gettin to be with whoever they chose to be with and i felt trapped always wondering the wuda shuda cudas. sure i dont konw wut the future holds...or that we'll even last..but all i do know is that feelin i get wenever he's around...i know he cares about me and i about him. he's not one of those stupid shitheads who lead u on...just b/c they can...he makes me comfortable wit just being me....n its weird ....so weird... honestly...the stuff he writes...its like dood u see that in me? ur CRAZY...wut i love is that he's not a party person...he doesnt smoke or drink...clean kid...its been about 2 yrs since the whole shibang...n i cant believe we still have those feelings but hey...its all good with me...he's such a freakin cutie..and im glad that i got this second chance...i love the sound of his laff..the way he "sounds like he has a frog in his throat"...hahah that lil rumblin sound...hahaah n how he can just make me laff over the stupidest things..haha maybe that's why im sooo lucky..b/c I'VE GOT FRENS WHO MAKE ME LAFF OVER THE STUPIDEST THINGS..or is it THE OTHER WAY AROUND..no matter...bye

wowzahs...im so happy...i miss him...n i think he's listening to what im mumbling haha loser! hahah...i love keepin him in the dark..."what u say?" vinnie's great...he makes happy and he makes me laff ...haha silly dood...hahaah man o mann...haha...gr8 stuff
i like him a lot...hah like a lot..and i look forward to talkin to him..hhah....

U HAVE TO WAIT! HAHAAHAH dooofus!!!

I WANNA SEE HIM SOO MUCH....hahah...he makes me feel happy...im content wit him....dood ive wanted to talk to him for the longest time...and i denied myself of that happiness b/c i felt that it wasnt meant for me...

maybe the reason why im always sleepy is cuz i sleep late.
grr gotta fix that.
IM SUPER HAPPY. CANT WIPE THE GRIN ON MY FACE HAPPY.
b/c finally im allowed to talk to the one person ive been yearnin to talk to, ever since...
its cool with my parents and everything is fine and dandy.
im praying it'll stay this way.
HE MAKES ME HAPPY...even tho we dont see each other that much..each moment counts.
for the first time im not stressin about whether or not its a good choice to talk to a guy or stay single...
now im sure i wanna make it work.
u'd think i'd be insecure about the whole thing since he lives in UCR during the skool year. but no...im kool wit us just doin our own thing...wenever....n then wenever we see each other it'll be just me and him in our own little world. tee hee..he has that way of makin me smilin and laff over the stupidest thing.
*picture me on a normal basis always bein hyper*...now multiply that by the butterflies i get each time i see him.
its cool cuz we dont have to do something special ...just being together is enough.
thats wut i like.
skool and family life is gr8 rite now...my prayers have been answered and each day i thank God for all of this. tryin to live up to the moment

maybe in the past i let the bf become my world my 'idol' that God took it away b/c it wasn't right. now im smarter n more faithful. i know that not all things last n that i shudnt put all my hopes n dreams in one thing. but i do know that if i just trust God and pray that everything will go according to HIS WILL...i'll be fine. im not sure how this thing with him will work out...but its something im willing to put my heart into. maybe my heart never left.
eww ang corny naman!

but yeah...im thankful for my o so sexy frens the OOBERS...they make me laff wen times get ruff..even harder wen it cool. i love teresa...i love her giggle...its crazy...mann o mann...life is good... take care everyone

interesting...:

Putting anything above God for any reason is idolatry.

(Exodus 20:4-5) Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

You may think that this is just talking about statues and images and icons and religious symbols. It's not. The television set is an idol if we worship it by giving it a prominent place in our home and put watching it above reading our Bibles, praying, studying, our housework, our family. Do your children have pictures in their rooms of sports heroes, movie stars, rock singers? They are worshipping idols. Anything that you put above God, no matter what your motives are, is idolatry. It is sin. God hates it.

What is it that you put above God?

From: http://www.1timothy4-13.com/files/proverbs/art08.html

as for me..i agree with that. umm with spring break i did a lot of errand-y stuff..haha and had fun with fam. on certain occasions. haha good stuff i guess. neways take care everyone